Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
