the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
