We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
