You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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