so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
