We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
