Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
