No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
