Whoa Z and x make the same sound
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
