1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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