i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
