i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
