what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
