great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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