She said her name was "party"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
