i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
