I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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