Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
