Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
