doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
party gras won. party gras always wins.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
