I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
