Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
