You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Be still, my beating vagina.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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