How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
