I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
