Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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