btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
