She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
