No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
