Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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