triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's never too late to be topless.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
