Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
