Dual....:-)
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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