We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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