As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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