so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
