we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
