I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
