my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
