I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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