he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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