You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
