I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
