I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
