What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
