if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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