part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
