I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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