dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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