good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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