It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize